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Recently, I had a former co-worker drop a comment on my site that essentially said, “This post sucks.” After writing out a sarcastic response, I realized that continuing the thread would only make both of us look like jerks. Instead of publishing, I deleted my comment and dumped his as well.
I’m all for people disagreeing with me and even ask for constructive criticism, but when comments don’t offer anything beyond an attack on me or my writing, they are bound to become casualties of moderation. Because I used to work with the guy, I sent an apologetic email letting him know why his comment got deleted.
In the five years that this site has been up, comment deletion has never turned into an issue with a reader, so I was pretty surprised when I got a harsh email back telling me about my god complex and explaining the proper way to run my site. The email closed stating that the guy would never leave a comment again.
I had to read it twice and have some other people verify that the reaction was a lot stronger than would’ve been expected over something as trivial as a deleted comment. Even though the consensus was that the guy was overreacting, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and considered that I just might’ve been catching the brunt of someone having a bad day. I ignored the insults and sent another apologetic e-mail explaining that I still value his comments, but that this sort of thing happens sometimes. I considered two apologies to be above and beyond for dealing with a simple comment deletion, so I thought the matter was over.
My jaw just about hit the floor when I got another tirade the next day claiming that hecklers were good for discussion, that offending him was not a good business plan, and that his comments made my crappy posts better. He even went so far as to accuse me of being the ghost writer behind the comments of N0ia, one of my top commenters (How do you like that, N0ia?). While I sat there irritated and wondering who really was suffering from a god complex, I simply gave up and deleted his email.
I spent the first half of my life fighting with people, and it’s not a very rewarding pursuit. I’m at a great place in my life, and with so many people willing to lift me up, I’m finding that there are very few reasons to donate time and energy to people who simply want to drag me down. I won’t do it in real life, and I certainly won’t do it in a space where the negative energy lives forever on a globally available billboard. That’s not what I’m about, and it’s not what I want this site to be.
I want dyers.org to be that place where people come to grab a new idea, download some free stuff, and have some fun. I don’t want it to be a negative series of pissing contests. If I have to moderate a small number of comments from time to time to keep things on a positive track, that’s the way it’s going to be.
And if that’s some violation of free speech, know that I support people’s right to say anything they want. Unfortunately, you have to understand that even though I value discussion and comments, this isn’t a free speech zone. This is my website. It’s my own little corner of the web and I am making it what I want it to be. If you want to heckle or start pissing contests, I encourage you to start your own blog and fully explore the negative side of humanity. There are thousands of people out there who would love to fight with you, and there might even be seven or eight who actually find your unique brand of heckling to be awesomely funny. Find those people and be with them. I’d rather surround myself with the intelligent, friendly, creative, off-center readers who come here on a daily basis to take graciously, give willingly, and play nice.
This is also what I have chosen to do for a living. Because some office folks collect the same check whether they chat all day or do actual work, they might not realize that bloggers have to scrap hard every day to make a dollar. Allowing troll comments is like letting someone spray graffiti on their front door. It devalues their efforts, makes their sites ugly, and can directly influence the number of peanuts they might earn for the day. I’d never buy a permanent billboard outside someone’s office announcing that their work is sub-par, so why do people think that it’s acceptable to do it to bloggers who put in huge amounts of effort to give them something for nothing every day?
It just doesn’t seem like something that friends do to each other. And we’re all friends here, right?
What do you think? Do people have the right to say whatever they want in blog comments, or is necessary to separate the biters from the rest of the class through comment moderation? Are comments a privilege or a right?
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October 11th, 2007 at 6:42 am
No. You set a clear moderation policy, and then you stick to it. This is your blog. They can start their own.
Check out Meg’s post on policies -
Policy Galore
Cheers!
Snoskred
October 11th, 2007 at 8:42 am
i agree w/ you and snoskred. i mean, people have the right to comment however they choose, but you also have the right to delete what they’ve said. especially if it’s either negative (such as this example) or an inconspicuous ad like some random comments are. this is YOUR space. YOUR space for freedom of speech. you allow people to disagree w/ you or whatever but then you delete them because well, you worked your ass off to make this blog what it is.
i hope that person is reading these comments and realizing he was silly.
and, angry heckler, you can click on my link to find that i am also a real person and not just another one of jon’s personalities.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Wow. Just wow.
I agree wholeheartedly with how you feel about comments. I personally delete comments that are a bit off kilter on MY OWN BLOG and also on MY OTHER SITE.
If there is something of value in the comment - but something in it is a bit off, then I’ll cut out the part that I don’t feel needs to be there and let the rest slide. And like you, I generally e-mail the person about the comment and let them know why.
The thing with my site is that most of the people that read it are (real life) friends, family, or coworkers, so they really don’t take offense to it.
And it’s actually kinda flattering that someone would think that the amount of comments that I post are because I don’t really exist.
I think if someone were to actually go to my site they would clearly see that I’m a different person than you - My “About Me” section pretty much defines me, although it could use an update here or there. If I’m NOT a different person, then you’ve got one heck of a case of Multiple Personality Disorder.
By the way, I saw the comment he left, and then saw how it got deleted, and immediately understood why.
Comments are definitely a privilege, but when they cross over to personal attacks on someone’s hard work, they’re 100% unnecessary - even if it does bring “discussion”
P.S. Perhaps people leave comments saying you suck, because in reality, you’ve got the balls to do what they’ve been dying to do forever, but know they’d never be able to hang.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:00 am
I agree with the previous comments; it’s sad to say, but this is why policies are necessary.
Sounds like this guy has a lot of time on his hands to carry on such an exchange, and likely doesn’t understand the motivation and passion that you have for what you’re trying to do, never mind the effort you put in. On the other hand, maybe pride has you reading things in a way that makes his comments more than they are.
Why not put the emails out there and run a survey to have others weigh in.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Whether it’s on my site or free on blogger, I’m the one putting the time and effort into my posts and if someone only wants to come aboard to attack me personally or to start some ridiculous flamewar…well, that’s why the delete button exists.
And if people don’t like how I run MY blog, then they don’t have to visit it–because when talking about freedom, the biggest one we have is the freedom of choice.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:03 am
PS—I’m real too and NOT jon’s transgender personality…SWEAR!
October 11th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
This post sucks!
October 11th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
You are right. Nice comment. I haven’t stopped by in a while to see what’s going on. Man! I gotta stop here more often. I’m missing some good stuff.
How long did you work with this person?? He/She must have no clue about who you are. Stay the course……
And, Jon didn’t make me up either. I’m Rose. I’m his friend. I like him. He says funny things that make me laugh and nice things that make me smile.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I cannot wait until the days when i have people commenting on my blog, so i have this problem;)
I feel blog comments are a privilege. Why? Simply because if one person goes saying something negative on a public site,. then , due to the massive network of people reading it, it could start a trend of slamming perfectly good writing.
And if you leave up a negative comment, thinking it will only be one, and you dont want to be a censor-er, then you will have to leave up all hecklers comments, because you made a policy to not edit them.
October 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
People don’t have the right to roll up and insult you in your own “home” so to speak. It’s not censorship if you’re deleting what is essentially a flame and the purpose of the comment was solely to offend.
October 12th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
This post sucks more than any other post everer in the wholest widest world………. hmmmmmmmmmm I feel better now.
Now I have scapegoated you for what were probably personal angst ridden issues I can get on with what I really wanted to say.
If you owned a bar and someone walked in badmouthing the place, then it would be wholley reasonable to evict them from the premisis. So I say it’s your bar you decide who stays and who go’s.
October 13th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
And if you owned a bar, we would all expect free drinks
October 15th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Anyone that goes to someone’s personal blog and insults them is not trying to ‘create discussion.’ They’re simply being a jerk. And jerks suck. If he wants freedom of speech, tell him to get his own blog. The he can tell the whole world* how much he thinks you suck. *And by ‘whole world’, I mean his mom, as she would no doubt be his only reader.
October 15th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
This is your blog. You are the publisher. Commenting is a privilege not a right. I have been accused of censorship when I have deleted some nasty comments.
October 18th, 2007 at 8:19 am
http://bugsbutt.blogspot.com/2007/10/move-over-voltaire.html
maybe your negative nelly commenter visited this guy’s site too…. this is a great post…
October 18th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Your blog, your choice. Commenting is not a right.
I’ve been blogging for 3 years and I’m amazed at how LITTLE hate there is out there. I’ve had tens of thousands of comments and about 5 of them have been less than positive. That’s amazing!
January 17th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
John made me up, I live in his beard and feed him music - SPARTA!