While Macophiles are poking fun at Microsoft’s latest bloatware by posting Apple TV spots that make PC users look like the tucked-in shirt wearing, non-itunes using, “who the fuck is My Chemical Romance” wondering, fashion unconscious, back-office nerds that we are, PC folks like myself are being bestowed with greater powers than the Mac Community can wrap their little iMinds around.

Today, while trying to manage a windows machine, the following message popped up:

“Computer \\Lazarus cannot be managed because the computer was not found on the network. It may be powered down or otherwise not connected. Would you like to manage it anyway? Yes/No”

I sat for a moment staring at the screen before whispering “Yea, fuck logic. Let’s do this thing.” After giving thanks that Windows would deem me worthy of the power to pull this dead, unmanageable machine right out of the ether, I spent a few moments contemplating the plethora of other items I would soon be producing out of thin air.

At some point between “Chai Siu Bau” and “Beard-Loving Strippers”, I decided against clicking “Yes”, and closed the window. If I was going to inherit godlike powers or possibly be possessed by Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, it was not going to happen in my tiny cubicle on a Thursday morning. No, I would save this power for a time when it would be most momentous. Like perhaps around Y2k V.2.*

Who’s cool now, Mac-holes?

Ok, Ok, but who gets ahead on his polished corporate charm and finely honed business sense?

Right, fine, but who will soon be surrounded by a plethora of Chinese food and strippers?

Screw you guys, if that window comes up again, I’m clicking “Yes” twice.

All Hail The Keymaster of Gozer.

*Corrected per Peter

Posted in Geeky, Work