Quiz: Are You a Geek, Nerd, Dork, Or Jock?

When my Nerd Party post spawned a multi-site mini-discussion on who was a geek and who was a nerd, I figured there might be some confusion about the actual definitions of the terms being argued. Today, Geek, Nerd, and Dork are used interchangeably, but there are subtle defined differences between them:

A Nerd, by definition, seeks knowledge at the expense of social skill. These people grade your papers and price your comic books.

A Geek, by definition, values technological proficiency at the expense of social skill. These people read your e-mail.

A Dork is a general term for someone who is simply socially inept. These are the people that make geeks and nerds feel cool.

A Jock, by definition, values physical fitness at the expense of matters of the mind. These people are your gym coaches and the sworn enemies of the Nerds.

So, now that we have defined the buckets, I created this quick quiz to objectively end the argument of which group we each belong to. There are no right or wrong answers. Just select what’s best for you so we can end this once and for all.

Enjoy.

Geek, Nerd, Dork, or Jock: The Quiz

1. You spend too much time with:

Hacking your RoboSapien

Reading Novels/Graphic novels

Admiring your stamp collection

Dudes in towels

2. Your sunglasses:

Sort of make you look like Neo.

Clip on, flip down.

Risky Business style, or whatever Dick Trickle is sporting this year.

The ‘Boz wore Blades, and so do I.

3. Your friends:

Are not users or power users. They are admins.

Include a powerful wizard and a particularly crafty elf.

Are Parrotheads.

Are brothers. Go Alpha Beta.

4. Your haircut is:

Unique?

Built for ease of use rather than style.

Business in the front, party in the back. Yeahea hea.

Nice question, pussy.

5. The greatest mind of our time:

Cory Doctorow.

Stephen Hawking.

Jimmy Buffett.

John Madden.

6. There is a naked person in front of you. You are:

Cruising for pr0n.

Rolling a twelve sided die to see if you get to cast magic missile.

Paying for it.

Probably involved in a gang rape.

7. You’re in front of a TV. You’re watching:

G4

The History Channel

Whatever channel America’s Got Talent is on.

ESPN with a picture in picture of ESPN2 while holding a football.

8. The Web:

I’m a hack-a-day kind of person.

I check slashdot daily

I’m awesome at AOL or whatever. Your internet sux. Mine Rulz. I M A 3L337 Hax0r.

Tell me what the fuck you’re talking about, jackhole!

9. Computers:

I built my PC and I use it for everything.

I use a PC to connect to my MMORPG.

I saw a monkey do a donkey on there and it freaked me out. Does that make me gay?

I hit some nerd with a computer once for writing about me on his blob.

10. Your computer breaks. You:

Pop the fucker open and figure out which of your mods has overheated.

Call the geek, who shall fix it post haste or feel the black vengeance of Beldan the Wizard!

Call the geek squad and tap your alternate pr0n stash.

Wonder if it had anything to do with throwing it at that kid in the wizard costume.

11. Transformers:

More than meets the eye? Pfft. StarBlazers and Force Five all the way.

You wrote out some preliminary schematics, but your confidentiality agreement prevents you from discussing them.

Wait. Go-bot who now?

If you made one of them things, it would be a keg that turned into a hottie. A drink and hump machine. Hell yeah.

12. You have been asked on a date to a baseball game. You:

Laugh so hard that the offer gets retracted.

Run your statistical package to determine the winner to save time.

Put on your team jacket, hat, and t-shirt, oil up your glove, and practice kissing on your arm.

Run out and buy the ring, because this person understands you.

13. Your favorite clothes are:

Comfortable and preferably black.

People shouldn’t be judged by their appearance. They should be valued for their minds and treated with kindness.

My “Who Farted?” T-shirt, zebra striped pants, and wrestling sneakers.

Baseball hat on top, sneakers on the bottom, you wiggling in the middle.

14. Your favorite drink is:

Coffee, mountain dew, red bull, or anything with caffeine.

Perhaps a vitamin water, preferably with plenty of Vitamin C and/or Ginkgo Biloba.

Read my T-shirt: Bud. wei. ser.

BODY SHOTS. No, no. Gatorade in a huge ass tub.

15. You’re having a discussion. You say:

There is only one Trilogy, the original Star Wars.

There is only one Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings.

There are many trilogies, but my favorite was Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, and Army of Darkness.

There are many trilogies, the next one involving me, you, and someone of my choosing.

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    • Posted in Geeky

    17 Responses to “Quiz: Are You a Geek, Nerd, Dork, Or Jock?”

    1. Kung Fu CHUD Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 7:37 am

      You are 47% Geek. Geektanium! Almost as good as Adamantium!

      Oh man, I just really pushed my geek rating to over 50%. :-P

    2. Life as a Pronoun Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 9:14 am

      I got 47% Geek too. You will be assimilated!

      Kung Fu CHUD - Adamantium only increased your Nerd rating not your Geek rating unless your Adamantium shield had a +4 Geek modifier.

    3. Michelle Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 9:41 am

      I am a whopping 53% NERD! HA! So there! Pfft!

      My other 47% is sexpot, but I just know that–your quiz didn’t tell me!

    4. Former Cubemate Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 9:52 am

      Wow! 67% Geek?! How did I out-”geek” Life as a Pronoun?

    5. Jo Jo Monkey Man Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 12:12 pm

      I want the full breakdown! And ummm Michelle is happy to be a Nerd?

    6. Michelle Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 3:03 pm

      I embrace my Nerd-dom with gusto!

    7. Life as a Pronoun Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 3:04 pm

      You only out geeked me because the Nerd is strong within me today. (wearing my spidey underoos).

    8. digitaldarryl Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 6:20 pm

      47% Geekantium.
      And point of order…
      9 - I bought a few Macs. I use each of them for the task best suited to their capacity. I’ve hot-rodded one, and maxed out the others.
      10 - I use Macs. How does a computer “break” without an axe? Or do you mean work… ? ’cause have I got some stories to tell. Most of them from a
      Lame
      Ass
      Noob Admin pretending to be Gothar - SysAdmin of the Universe.
      -d—

    9. digitaldarryl Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 8:35 pm

      7 - in front of a TV = Shark Week or Gran Turismo 4.
      -d—

    10. K. Says:
      August 4th, 2006 at 8:59 pm

      I am 53% Geek. There is some nerd in there too, I bet. Back to reading my Doctor Who novel…

    11. V. Says:
      August 6th, 2006 at 12:25 am

      47% Geek baby! Gotta have some nerd, but I’m not surprised about the geekage.

    12. tankboy Says:
      August 7th, 2006 at 12:12 pm

      I’m 60% geek?

      Don;t let my rock and/or roll friends know…I must hide it well.

    13. Jon Says:
      August 7th, 2006 at 8:30 pm

      I wrote the damned thing, and I only got 80% geek.

    14. Michelle Says:
      August 7th, 2006 at 9:20 pm

      And Jon, the other 20% is pure nerd! :)

      shh…don’t tell tankboy, but I think most of his friends are on to his secret.

    15. jsin Says:
      August 9th, 2006 at 6:48 am

      33 percent jock. ??? ok the other 67 procent must be prOn star!

    16. Kerry Says:
      March 15th, 2007 at 8:54 am

      33% nerd. what is that?! what”s my other 66.6 percent???!?! i need to know!!

    17. greghousesgf Says:
      May 19th, 2008 at 5:35 pm

      i couldn’t even finish the test because most of the multiple choices didn’t apply to me at all.

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